owen at owengreaves dot com

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Respond

How many times have we this, actions speak louder than words…it’s just another way of saying, it’s not what you say, it’s how you respond. Everything we do and say comes from some form of stimulus, we saw something, we heard something, and then we responded. I’ve said this before, and I teach it often, we are the ONLY creatures on earth that have the ability to STOP, THINK, THEN….decide how to respond. We can actually stop in the heat of the moment, every other creature on the planet can’t stop, they merely react.

The Problem

Often, in our day…we have things happen that completely frustrate us, most of us react in a way that tells everyone around, you’re not happy with what just happened or was said. I run other businesses, and sometimes things happen that are truly out of your control, you can’t fix it, you don’t control the situation, you have to rely on other people not under your tent.

One of my businesses is a webhosting business, sometimes things break, and have nothing to do with me and my team, things don’t happen the way they should, and take far too long to get resolved. In the meantime, customers can’t do certain things, can’t manage their website’s, or add email accounts.

With so many webhosting companies getting attacked, I’m actually surprised their aren’t bigger problems. Everyday there attempts to break into servers, billing systems, and WordPress sites. The amount of work that goes into protecting yourself is staggering at times. Companies like GoDaddy & Hostgator go down regularly, sometimes unnoticed, other times they can’t hide….third-party software companies go through the same things. Most companies it’s licenses, they keep those licenses alive remotely (not locally), so when that third party company goes down, so does all their customers, we can’t run the software to play or run our businesses. When that happens, it’s out of my hands, out of my control, there is nothing I can do but wait! Then frustration sets in.

So, how do you respond when you find yourself in this out of control situation?

The Solution

The point is, we can’t possibly control everything, and we can’t stay in a perpetual state of frustration and anger, it’s just not healthy, we have to learn how to wait, learn how to trust other people doing everything they can to resolve the problem(s). So when things go sideways, try to keep things in perspective, error on the side of grace, and let those who can actually solve the problem, do their job, waiting is sometimes part of the job, part of being in business.

Like I said, it’s not what you say, it’s how you respond. Sometimes what you say, is not how you should respond, stop, think about how you should respond in a calm rational way, then respond. It’s too easy to get mad. Someone once said, the first one to get mad loses.

I have tried to live a my life with consistency, I don’t tend to get mad, but sometimes my direct style of communication gets me in trouble. I’ve always told the truth, I don’t know how to lie, I was good at as a kid, but as an adult, a business person, it’s not a good practice. I would rather have influence over someone than authority, the later is not an effective way to manage people or run a business.

I hope this gives you some perspective, something to think about, something you can practice and put into action. People are watching, people are listening, and they are always assessing what kind of person / leader you are, don’t let what you say undo all the good you’ve done. It’s not what you say, it’s how you respond. If it makes you feel better, I’m having one of those days where my response may come from the dark side of Owen : )

 

About Owen Greaves

I'm a Futurist, I write, speak, and teach the open & free business model, the future of business. Create. Differentiate. Deliver.  

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