I wasn’t sure if I should write this post, I haven’t written in over a year….in fact, I wrote this back in December 2019….and I’m finishing it this morning, sorry about that, too many distractions, too many reasons, too much life.
On October 31st, 2019 at 12:30AM my Mother Mary Greaves passed away, she simply slipped away in the night, she had Dementia & Mesothelioma – the latter a very aggressive Cancer that took her life.
Back in July I flew home to see my Mom, I got calls from my siblings, and a couple of Mom’s close friends, that she wasn’t doing well and needed to come. We knew her memory was going quickly four years ago…..
Lisa & I typically plan some kind of summer vacation, not far, mostly in the province. Four years ago our plans were interrupted, Mom need surgery to remove a tumor in her right lung. That surgery had to take place in Kelowna, B.C. – which was a big deal because Mom lived in Terrace, B.C., a good 12 hour non-stop drive. Mom decided to take the bus to Prince George, so we drove up to PG and picked her up, and then headed south to Kelowna. On our journey south we noticed Mom was having problem remembering anything, mostly short term stuff, she couldn’t remember what day it was, what time it was, and other simple things like that. But she had good long-term memory, so you could have a conversation with her and think nothing was wrong. But the drive became seriously frustrating, Mom just couldn’t hold anything, we would tell her what day it was, and less than a minute later she would ask again….repeatedly, maybe 20 times in a row!
Lisa & I decided to rent a Condo there for a week and stay there while Mom was in the hospital having the a lobe of her right lung removed. The stay ended up being 10 days because Mom’s heart developed an irregular heart beat after the surgery.
All that to say, we spent the last 4 or 5 summers caring my Mother in one form or another, I miss her terribly. What’s left of the legacy of my Mother & Father? I have a younger Brother, his name is Ron. He has health issues and this Pandemic could take him if he gets the virus, as he has lung complications. I’m fighting hard for him, so are his daughters and my sister, trying to get him medical, mental, and financial support. The system does not support someone in his position well.
I have younger sister too, her name is Gail. She is one tough cookie, a fighter, has strong survival instincts, and a huge heart. Watching my Sister care for Mom in Palliative Care it was magic, and such a blessings, I was so proud of her. That makes me the oldest, I feel such a sense of responsibility to make sure they are looked after. My Father said to me on his death bed, one day your Brother & Sister are going to need you, look after them. At the time, it was a huge weight on my shoulders, but today…..it’s all I want to do. They don’t make it easy, but I love them, they are all that’s left, two of us are over 60, my sister in her 50’s.
Mom & Dad, I could use your wisdom today….I’m not as smart as I thought I was when you were alive.