Mary Greaves

I wasn’t sure if I should write this post, I haven’t written in over a year….in fact, I wrote this back in December 2019….and I’m finishing it this morning, sorry about that, too many distractions, too many reasons, too much life.

On October 31st, 2019 at 12:30AM my Mother Mary Greaves passed away, she simply slipped away in the night, she had Dementia & Mesothelioma – the latter a very aggressive Cancer that took her life.

Back in July I flew home to see my Mom, I got calls from my siblings, and a couple of Mom’s close friends, that she wasn’t doing well and needed to come. We knew her memory was going quickly four years ago…..

Lisa & I typically plan some kind of summer vacation, not far, mostly in the province. Four years ago our plans were interrupted, Mom need surgery to remove a tumor in her right lung. That surgery had to take place in Kelowna, B.C. – which was a big deal because Mom lived in Terrace, B.C., a good 12 hour non-stop drive. Mom decided to take the bus to Prince George, so we drove up to PG and picked her up, and then headed south to Kelowna. On our journey south we noticed Mom was having problem remembering anything, mostly short term stuff, she couldn’t remember what day it was, what time it was, and other simple things like that. But she had good long-term memory, so you could have a conversation with her and think nothing was wrong. But the drive became seriously frustrating, Mom just couldn’t hold anything, we would tell her what day it was, and less than a minute later she would ask again….repeatedly, maybe 20 times in a row!

Lisa & I decided to rent a Condo there for a week and stay there while Mom was in the hospital having the a lobe of her right lung removed. The stay ended up being 10 days because Mom’s heart developed an irregular heart beat after the surgery.

All that to say, we spent the last 4 or 5 summers caring my Mother in one form or another, I miss her terribly. What’s left of the legacy of my Mother & Father? I have a younger Brother, his name is Ron. He has health issues and this Pandemic could take him if he gets the virus, as he has lung complications. I’m fighting hard for him, so are his daughters and my sister, trying to get him medical, mental, and financial support. The system does not support someone in his position well.

I have younger sister too, her name is Gail. She is one tough cookie, a fighter, has strong survival instincts, and a huge heart. Watching my Sister care for Mom in Palliative Care it was magic, and such a blessings, I was so proud of her. That makes me the oldest, I feel such a sense of responsibility to make sure they are looked after. My Father said to me on his death bed, one day your Brother & Sister are going to need you, look after them. At the time, it was a huge weight on my shoulders, but today…’s all I want to do. They don’t make it easy, but I love them, they are all that’s left, two of us are over 60, my sister in her 50’s.

Mom & Dad, I could use your wisdom today….I’m not as smart as I thought I was when you were alive.

I have a heavy heart this day, the founding Pastor of Cedar Brook Church, Les Goertz passed away Feb 2nd, he fought long and hard with Cancer – now he is healed. Please pray for the Goertz Family as they walk through their loss. Les was our Pastor for almost 20 years, he will be missed by so so many.

Les Goertz

I was thinking how fast the years seem to fly by, I turned 58 in November, and that’s why I babble alot more these days, please indulge me. It boggles the mind how fast the world is moving, including mine. Oh I’m grateful, and I’m even a little excited, and I have been really excited for many, many years. Each year we praise the year that was, and we anticipate the next year that will be, without really knowing what we plan on doing.

Most of us don’t really have a plan, most of us tend to act by emotion, and that’s where we get into trouble. I’m not suggesting a plan solves the problem of not getting into trouble, but I am suggesting you actually give some thought on what goals you would like to achieve. Maybe even make a bucket list instead of a goal list, they’re both the same to me.

I started doing something this year I NEVER thought I would do, I went and got a gym membership…I know right? Now I’m the kind of guy who loves sports, so….exercise always involved a sport, it’s a law right? Well, I never thought I would enjoy going to a gym, but I do! I go 5 to 6 times a week, go figure!

Why did I do that? In March of 2001 I had a heart attack, that’s old news. But this year, my health was bothering me, I wasn’t….I hadn’t changed anything in my routine or structure to improve my health. I just lived my life, year in and year out thinking I’ll get to it eventually. As a young man, I was an athlete, I mean I played Hockey, Baseball, Football, Soccer (did I mention I hate soccer), I just loved playing sports, and I was always in good shape….until I stopped playing sports. It’s funny how those of us who call ourselves athletes can go into denial almost immediately when it comes to how good of shape we may or may not be in. But I won’t get into that : )

So a few months ago (2), my wife and I dropped into the Club 16 Trevor Linden Gym for a tour….no reason, just a spur of the moment drive-by. We went in, got the tour, and I said sign us up, I also said, hurry up before I change my mind. I knew if I didn’t sign-up on the spot, I would never do it.

This morning I was staring out my kitchen window thinking how we start and stop things every year, some we finish and some we don’t. We begin, and we end….it’s a process of life really, there’s life, and then there’s death, there’s an end, and there’s a beginning. What we never really do is, evaluate what’s good for us when we think about our goals, we always gravitate to what feels good over what’s good for us. We handle our entire lives that way, we handle our finances the same way, so we get into the cycle of ending and beginning, never really stabilizing, never really getting our bleep together, just drifting and wandering, thinking it will all work out fine. I used to believe that, now at 58….I don’t…you have to have purpose in your life, you have to make people your business, you should put order to your beginnings and ending.

So here we are at the end of 2015, in a few weeks. A new year is coming, do you have a healthy outlook of what’s ahead, do you have some goals in mind, a bucket list if you will. How will you begin? In the sporting world there is an analogy, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish, but you MUST start.

As Seth Godin says, go out and make a ruckus, make a mess, life is moving far too fast, before you know it, you will run out of time. And the real issue, we are ALL running out of time, I am running out of time. Consider  time before setting your goals / bucket list, and then challenge yourself, not how will you start, but how will you finish….and then ask yourself one big question, “How many people will be better off because I lived?”