Lifestyle
My Stay In Winnipeg, Manitoba
I just returned from 12 days on the road with my Mother, yes, my Mother. I love my Mother, she’s 71 and is the most fun to be with on a road trip, we travelled from British Columbia to Manitoba. The drive was a marathon, 26 hours, which we did in two days coming back to my home in British Columbia. I learned things about my Mother no child should ever want to know, but I won’t share that with you here. I’ll be sharing about this trip in a series of blog posts, I hope they make you think.
On my journey, I learned a great deal about people and what I do, I was shocked to find out how we as a people in a country of this size don’t really care or want to participate in building a future. We want the future, we know there is a future, and we hope it makes our lives easier, but will we be able to do less and get more.
The hotel (Canad Inn) I was living in for the past week in Winnipeg was a nice location and a big facility, nice big rooms (FREE WI-FI), huge Flat Screen HDTVs, Restaurant, Room Service, a Hot Tub & Swimming, Meeting Rooms, Banquet Facilities, it had it all, even a Mini – Casino that was open from 9AM – 2AM! You didn’t have to leave the place, even grocery shopping was next door. In the restaurant, you only had to sit a short while and you could tell who the regulars were, everyone knew them by name it seemed. A small network of people in this hotel world we were all living in, no one, and I mean no one talked about the future or technology or anything of real interest to me. They were all talking about they’re lives, what they were going through, who they were working for and who they were hanging out with these days. I suddenly felt all alone, what I was there for was not needed, nor did anyone care what I was doing in Winnipeg. Even my waitress wasn’t excited to see me, she was going to give birth soon so you can tell what she was talking about with me. But for the most part, they just wanted to get to the Casino….why? Money of course, so they could escape the world they are in.
My epiphany, there are so many who are merely doing or living a work-style instead of a life-style, they talked about they’re life, but felt like they couldn’t participate in it, it was something happening to them, they were all working so hard, working for weekends & holidays. The future was something that was going to happen to them, and they hope things get easier, easier to slow the world down and easier to control the life they have. That’s a broken way of living to me, if you are working for weekends & holidays, your shit is broken….so why don’t we stop and do something about it?
I would be having coffee or breakfast and someone would always, as if on Que, where are you from and what brings you to Winnipeg? I would share two things, I’m from British Columbia and I drove my Mother here. Then…the big question, what do you do for a living….I always respond sarcastically with, ” as little as possible “. They keep pressing and I try to explain how I try to help businesses and individuals adopt the future of technology and build business models to increase revenues. A blank stare and a, ” oh that sounds like fun “. No, it’s hard work, but it’s work I fit into my life, it does not define or consume my life.
Working to live is a hopeless way to carry on, but that’s changing, I see future generations wanting the lifestyle without the work, that sounds wrong too! Rewards and work go hand in hand don’t they? Can you have the rewards and not have to work for them? Maybe that’s why we buy lottery tickets, go to Casino’s and Bingo Halls, we want to get that big pile of cash so we can life a different life than we are living now. In fact, we bank our future’s on winning that money rather than participating in building the future each one of us wants.
I beg of you Winnipeg, and all of Canada, lift your head up, look forward, look to the future, observe what is happening around you, and start building the future you want to live in. Let’s help one another find a better way to go from a Work-style to a Life-style.
Is it me or am I all alone here?
We Need The Small Victories Too
Have you ever found yourself day dreaming, you see some people and they seem to have it all going for them, and they make everything look so easy. We all have people like that in our lives, we see the grass greener in those people, they’re luckier, they get all the breaks, and you don’t. Come on, admit it, you’ve done it, and you’ve probably done that your entire life! I know I have at times, and I’m 52 years old, and have been around a short bit, which means I have probably thought it a million times over the course of my life. There’s a problem with that kind of self talk, many problems actually, far too many and they are far too deep.
Negative self-talk takes us to a place where fear can get a firm grip on us, it can immobilize us, and we start the downward spiral of feeling sorry for ourselves in a heartbeat. You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this, walk with me a bit.
I’ve had many careers, jobs, and have been on my own over the years, and I can tell you that self-talk is critical to your success. I don’t mean getting yourself all jacked up with unrealistic expectations, they will almost always fail, and when things don’t go as planned, you’ll lose your momentum. I didn’t say, don’t have big dreams, that’s not what I’m saying. Big dreams need to be broken down into manageable parts & goals, why, because we need the little victories to keep us going.
Those people in your life, or the ones you might know, aren’t as happy as you think they are, and I’m certain things weren’t as easy as you perceive them to be, they too needed the little victories to get them to where they are today. I struggle daily with not having enough small victories to keep me in a happy place, to keep me motivated, I have to get out of my comfort zone most of the time to get them. I hate that!
I’m willing to wager that when you find yourself having these little envy chats, it’s almost always related to money. I hate money actually, there I’ve said it. Money makes us focus on all the wrong things, it distracts us from whats really important. I’ll let you decide what’s important to you, but what’s important to me is my wife & two boys. I have never heard anyone say on their death bed, I wish I had more money. They will say, and I mean everytime….I wish I had spent more time with _________,you fill in the blank.
So what are those little victories, sometimes we can’t recognize them because we are focusing on the wrong things, or we’re distracted. Most of the time, these little victories are as simple as writing a Blog Post, a chance meeting with someone you never thought you would meet, an opportunity to help someone, it could be a phone call that helps you secure the next project or job. They could be even smaller, telling your wife & kids how much you love them, thank your neighbor for letting you use the lawn mower. But for most of us, it’s usually business related, that’s where the little victories really gets us charged up. Why? Probably because we made money, and we like money. Money is what we measure success by, I think we need to get back to something more valuable for measuring success.
I know in my business, I need to have something positive happen everyday when it comes to cash-flow, when it doesn’t, I start the bad self-talk. We all do it, I’m a failure, what could I have done different, or better? Recognize the questions, we start asking what we did wrong instead of what we did right, and what the next right step should be! One of the problems is, we rely on our own knowledge to solve problems, and you know what? We don’t know, what we don’t know. Success always requires other people, they are the ones who give us perspective and possibly vision. They are also the ones that give us those small victories 9 times out of 10.
I have found over the years, other people helped move me along to the next step, they either encouraged my, gave me an idea, and more importantly, they believed in me. It’s the affirmations, it’s the validation of others that gives us the courage to stand in the gap when times are bad, so we can stand tall with our chin up. Don’t believe me, watch this video and tell me what happens to you while you are watching it.
So, everytime you catch yourself thinking how someone has it better than you, is doing better than you, is smarter than you, STOP IT! Find out what motivates you, and then list the small victories you need from it. Yes, it’s hard work, life is hard work and it sucks, but you are not different than everyone else, why? We all need the small victories too.
When The Light Comes On
There have been many times when I went to a conference, sat in a workshop, or just talked with one of the speakers, and then walked away talking to myself, mumbling and processing. Everytime, and I mean everytime, I ask myself why I can’t see somethings but others do. You know, when you have that Uh Huh moment, the moment you get excited because you just saw or heard that thing, that thing you were missing or waiting to someday get so you could finish that whatever.
I do a fair bit of public speaking, workshops and think-tank sessions, and I always get a charge out of watching someones light go on. That moment of epiphany, the eyes get big, the smile and then SHAZZAM the light goes on. What a treat, it’s the high of highs for me, I love it when you get to play role in someones great idea or pain of figuring something out. It happens almost everytime I speak, I show them the future and then help them figure out how to adopt it. The creative juices always flow from something they didn’t know or just saw, the pen starts scratching on the pad an then the million question come at me like a Gatling gun. Fun stuff I must say.
Today was one of those days, I punched out the information in my workshop and it was as if someone pulled the blinders off and they could see once again. I love seeing people light up, they are always grateful after I share with them. Being surrounded with great people makes it even more special.
Do you turn lights on in people, are you helpful and giving of yourself, are you sharing in such a way that people want to hear more, get more, an then share what they learn from you. If you’re asking me, that’s the social currency, when others talk about you in a positive way, that you helped them solve a problem or just simply brightened their day. It’s called getting Attention.
I challenge you to give yourself away and turn the lights on in people. You will be blessed and rewarded ten fold.
Are You Humble? – One Day You Will Be
The world we live in is filled with many that feel nothing is impossible, they are smarter than everyone else, and find it much easier to pull people down rather than build them up. As difficult as that is to admit as a people, it is also sadly true, some of us treat others poorly in order to make ourselves look better and feel good. We couldn’t be more worng. You are probably wondering why I’m writing about this.
If you have ever lost a close family member to any kind of illness or sudden death, you know where I’m headed. My next door neighbor is about to lose her younger sister to Cancer, the Cancer is literally eating her sister alive every living minute. It is terminal, there are no pallitive beds available so she is in general ward. I find myself reliving the loss of my Father 11 years ago, my Dad still felt he was going to out work the Cancer, and that because he was smart he would beat it. I told my Father, this thing called Cancer will humble you like you have never been before, it will strip you of every decency you’ve known. Cancer plays no favorites and reduces you (us) to our lowest possible form.
You may think you’re ten feet tall and bullet proof today, but one day, you will be brought to your knees begging for help, longing for the pain & embarrassment to be taken from you. I have learned that being smug, treating people like something stuck on your shoe, having status and money is the beginning of the fall to humility. It will happen, if not tomorrow, on your death bed.
I urge you to love more, give more grace and help those you come into contact with, they will be the legacy you are so desperately trying to build and leave behind. Stop chasing the wrong things and invest your time wisely. You can do this by removing self from the equation, serve all those around you, humility will take you farther than any other form of self-sufficent thinking could ever do for you. Be humble, the world will know you made a meaningful impact on those around you. Be an encourager, lift people up, build one another up and above all, love your neighbor as you love yourself. Ask yourself with all honesty, Are You Humble? If not, I promise you, one day you will be.
Many Blessings,
Owen
Merry Christmas!
It’s Christmas Eve and we are about to enter into a time of Blessing and Family, not everyone will have this luxury. We can however, adopt those less fortunate and make this time of year a time warmth & love. I charge you Bless someone this Christmas, someone you don’t know. You’ve read it here many times, and if you’ve heard me speak, you know my war cry, How Many People Are Better Off Because You Lived?
I pray this message finds you well and that 2010 will be a great year for you & your family.
So, from the Greaves Household, Merry Christmas!